Rousseau and Schopenhauer walk into a bar


Rousseau and Schopenhauer walk into a bar. Both order a whiskey. “Say Rousseau,” the tender asks, “how’s your kids doin’ in the orphanage?”

Rousseau gets mad, says, “I had no choice back then! How else could I have time to develop my theories in child education?”

“Hey Schopenhauer,” the tender leans to him and asks, “heard ya hooked up some hot whore last night, huh?”

Schopenhauer gets mad, says, “I’m still a virgin, man! That can’t even be called sex. I had to pull it out halfway to meet the deadline. Spent the rest of the night finishing Thirty Reasons Why Women Suck.”

Rousseau happens to finish his whiskey, slams his glass on the counter, turns to the bartender. “Why you prick keep judgin’ us?”

“Naaaah”, the tender shrugs and says, “I’m totally not disrespecting you philosophers! I justlike to taunt them from time to time.”