Cringiest song I've ever heard¶

2023-07-30

Many songs are cringe, so much as to become a meme. This blogpost is about none of that. It is about a song that is cringe to me, even though I only ever heard it once.

Cue ten-year-old me. My elementary school took all the students to a theater. It was probably Teacher's Day, hence the afternoon off. There was neither movie or play, just an assortment of performances to varying degrees of entertainment. If I remember correctly, there was a magician who claims to be related to Liu Qian. I had no idea what she was doing.

At some point the host (That Guy) decided to sing an ode to our teachers. It was a rendition of a very mainstream pop song. I did not know, but I was about to hear the cringiest song. The verse is some generic pickup lines and the chorus goes (translated):

My beloved teacher, I love you
Let me walk into your world, and be together with you
My beloved teacher, I love you
I will do anything for you forever, in this life and the next

At this point we discovered that this was exactly the original song, but with the word "teacher" instead of "girl". Not only that, we were all asked to sing along to the "I love you". I might have cooperated (oops). What's worse, the teachers were present, which adds to the cringe factor.

By changing one word, That Guy managed to transform an otherwise innocent romantic song into pure horror. Let me clarify. I do not want to walk into my teacher's world. I do not want to be "together" with my teachers. They're real nice, yeah, but that doesn't mean I will "do anything" or reincarnate myself for them, no thanks.

The whole theater was filled to the brim with cringe. I wonder how they approved that song. They had one program to celebrate Teacher's Day, and they celebrated in the worst way possible.

The difference between this song and memes is that memes are funny. It's just cringe. And it is no longer possible to recreate it. I can tell this story to you as a joke, and you'd be like, "haha, the song sure is terrible", but you can't experience the damage it did to a pool of kids.