Mosfet: An Interview¶
2024-09-09
Per responsible blogging practices, I am obligated to tell you that this is not an actual interview that happened. But for the following five minutes please pretend it did.
The depiction of Rix in this blogpost is fictional, and has been verbally approved by Rix.
ANN ARBOR, MI — Frederick, a UMich student, recently declared himself "furry" and unveiled his very first fursona, Mosfet, as a result of a successful marketing campaign by the Anthro Art Association (AAA).
Frederick is a senior student in computer engineering. His fursona — an anthropomorphic animal alter ego, in furry-speak — is called Mosfet, a cat with no specific duties.
We reached out to Frederick and Mosfet for an interview. However, they requested two separate sessions, quoting "no one has seen us in the same room".
Interview with Mosfet¶
Despite his introversion, we bribed Mosfet with an Airheads and managed to arrange an interview.
Q. Can you tell us how you were created, Mosfet?
A. Well, I wasn't. A common misconception is that I was born the moment Fred hit "Save". That's not true. Actually I've been around since 2022, but Fred just seemed to be in denial until now.
Q. What made him accept you as his fursona?
A. I don't know (laughs). I just remember earlier this year when Fred asked me if I was okay being a black cat. I said sure, I spent two years as an amorphous blob of consciousness in his head like a hermit ****ing crab, I'll take whatever you have.
Q. Do you know why Frederick named you Mosfet?
A. He's a ****ing nerd. It's unique, I like it.
Q. Do you have any nicknames?
A. Yeah, "Mos" is okay.
Q. Does anyone ever call you "Metal-Oxide-Semiconductor Field Effect Transistor"?
A. I'm impressed you said that in one breath, but no.
Q. Any words of advice for other fursonas out there?
A. If you're ever asked a question you'd rather not answer, you can just act like a stupid kitty.
Q. Wouldn't that be less effective for other species?
A. Meow.
Q. (Checks clock) Thank you, Mosfet, for being with us today, we greatly appreciate.
A. (Chewing Airheads) [unintelligible]
Interview with Frederick¶
Compared to Mosfet, Frederick was more enthusiastic for an interview, but still tried to fish some benefits out of us. We gifted him a $5 LCSC coupon.
Q. Frederick, we are very interested in your decision to become a furry. Would you like to share your story?
A. It wasn't my decision. It was entirely Rix's fault.
(Clears throat) The story begins in August. I was chilling in Duderstadt, first floor collab area, doing human things. Then I noticed a poster on the wall.
(Editor's note: we searched through Frederick's camera while he was in the bathroom and found the poster he was talking about)
I was like "holy **** no ******* way that's a furry!!1!" As I stepped closer, Rix's menacing stare penetrated into my soul. The slogan goes, "I want YOU for the furry club", because you can always count on Americans to come up with creative slogans after the WWI.
Nevertheless, it worked. It was apparently a carefully orchestrated scheme of mind control to make me furry, and with just a glimpse at the poster, I've fallen right in their trap.
In the next few days, Rix's curse took a grip hold of my life. I could not stop thinking about furries: on the bus, in the classroom, even in bed; into their paws I have commended my spirit.
It was Wednesday when I lost all control of my body — I was a puppet, all my bones and muscles held hostage by the furries — they pushed me aboard a wicked wagon, the so-called Kommuter Sauth — it drove me to the Zentralercampustransitszentrum, not far from which Festifall was held.
I recognized him in an instant — he was more fluffy than the poster had shown, and extremely cute — but the sweetest snout has the sharpest tooth, for he hath rabies! He bit me right in my neck — next thing I knew, I became a furry, for the furriotoxin has infiltrated my bloodstream.
Q. Wait, what's furriotoxin?
A. It's a toxin that makes you furry. Have you watched zombie movies? It's like that. There is no cure.
Q. (Sighs) You're making things up, Fred.
A. Ask a biologist, it's a real thing.
Q. …Fine. Could you spell "furriotoxin"?
A. Furri with an i, o, toxin.
Q. When did you hear about furries for the first time?
A. In high school, while perusing the xkcd archive, I saw this comic about furries pretending to be humans and another about someone with a squirrel sona getting bullied. (Editor's note: xkcd 629 and xkcd 471) I was in China so I was like "OK that's an American thing then".
Q. And how did you get into them?
A. There was a time when I was really into cats, especially on the internet. I still am. And then I developed a craving for Blåhaj, the IKEA shark, so I bought one.
Guess what's real popular among furries? Blåhaj and cats. If you follow these hashtags, you will, sooner or later, meet a furry. They posted fursuits, commissions, conventions, big juicy succulent di—
Q. Sir, this is a family-friendly publication.
A. —nners! What the **** are you thinking about!
Q. Sorry. Please go on.
A. One really interesting sighting of a furry was on my high school new year livestream. Dude was playing violin while his fursuit head was just on the windowsill. I think he's in college now. But still, I never saw a furry in real life for a long time.
Q. When did you see the first furry then?
A. It was September 2023 I think, I just got here and I was at a drag show on Central Campus. There were two furries chilling around Angell Hall, I was like "huh" and two months later on Halloween four furries popped into the 370 classroom and I was like "HUH". Mark (editor's note: Dr. Mark Brehob) grabbed a photo of them. There was Takio (editor's note: fursona name) who showed up on Festifall as well.
Q. Truly an inspiring story. Now that we've learned about you, let's talk about Mosfet a little bit. What's his personality like?
A. He's a menace to society. Rebellious, chaotic, but kinda stupid, because sometimes ignorance is bliss. But on the other hand he's also very emotional so I don't have to. He's got some, uh, insecurities.
Q. Was it by design, or was it by accident?
A. It's not really his fault. His biggest insecurity is being unloved, so he tries very hard to prove himself even if he doesn't need to. Probably got it from me back in the days. He's good enough, I'm proud of him.
Q. (Checks clock) I think we're running out of time, so let's do a rapid fire round. Are you planning to get a fursuit?
A. Not any time soon, ****'s too expensive.
Q. Name three things Mosfet likes.
A. Salmon, heavy metal, cuddles.
Q. Three things he hates?
A. Sparkling water, roller coasters, gym class.
Q. His favorite band?
A. System Of A Down.
Q. That tracks. Next question: Did you watch Zootopia?
A. Yes.
Q. Did Nick Wilde influence you in any way?
A. No comment.
Q. Well, Frederick, thank you for being with us today and sharing so much about you and Mosfet.
A. And thank you for having me.